I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
