it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
