if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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