Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
