Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize