I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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