a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
