i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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