What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
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