you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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