bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
