he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The feeling are messing with the penis
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
