It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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