Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
