is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
