I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize