I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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