Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
