There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
