chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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