Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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