The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
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