So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
