We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
