eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can you bring me the toilet please
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
