And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
