I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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