We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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