with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
