ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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