When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
