he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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