stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
