Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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