I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize