would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
