nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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