At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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