Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
