I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
