yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
high people should be assigned attendants
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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