a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
