I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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