Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
