Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that