Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
