now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he thought i was a dude.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
