you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
