so explain again why im purple
no
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
