LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I would ride that face into the sunset
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