Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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