we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
