We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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