My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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