after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
